


the greatest tragedy

by icemakestars



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Character Study, F/F, Light Angst, Post-Break Up, Reflection, Tumblr: FTLGBTales
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 07:00:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18330971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icemakestars/pseuds/icemakestars
Summary: Eileen runs into Lucy by accident and is transported back into a happier time when she knew love.





	the greatest tragedy

Eileen walked, as she always did, with purpose. Even when she lacked any. Even when she was lost, untethered; clutching at the threads of her life as they frayed. And she was alone, was almost used to that by now. Or at least pretended to be, because it was easier than admitting that the loss, and the pain, was all her fault.

And it was, of course, and Eileen knew that. But she did not accept it, fought and kicked until the memories were out of her head, and she was hollow. So she walked with purpose, or maybe searching for one, as the sun beat down on her scarlet head and she thought how nice it would be to have a hand to hold, just once. 

She laughed, scornful, glaring up at the sky. Eileen  had the chance, in her youth, to bond with someone, spend her life with them, and Eileen had rejected it. Rejected  _ her _ . And then she had disappeared, leaving Eileen alone to spend an eternity wondering why she had valued the walls she had built around her heart more than the emotions she felt there. And those walls kept things in as well as out, secluded her from society, from what she truly wanted. 

Questions and scenarios she could have handled differently buzzed in her mind, stung her, and Eileen felt hollow. There was an unfilled void within her, a gaping wound which should have been fatal, but Eileen was not that lucky, and instead, she had to live with it, a sickness which could not be cured: love. The deadliest ailment of all. 

With a sigh, Eileen took an apple from a stall, threw down the change when the stall owner yelled at her uncaring manner. Fiore was a bland country, held none of the beauty of Alakatasia, or the Alvarez empire. Eileen resented the Emperor for sending her here, but she understood that it was needed, and in a way, the trust he had in her abilities was humbling, even if Eileen already knew how powerful and influential she was. The towns were smaller here, more rural, and Eileen spent more time swatting at gnats than she did focusing on the mission at hand, scouting out the magical potential of the country before Alvarez attacked and left it nothing but bones; dust. 

A body slammed into her, pink hair framed with white, and a flying flash of blue that followed it, the only things her mind could process before they were gone, sifting through the crowd and stumbling in their haste. 

“Wait for me Natsu, Happy!” 

The voice was high, shrill almost, but it sent Eileen’s heart racing with the echo of familiarity it held. She turned on her heel, caught a glimpse of sunflower yellow hair and endless brown eyes, and her knees buckled, mouth going dry. 

“Anna…” Eileen choked out, barely able to form the name as her throat constricted, her eyelashes wet with emotions she had repressed for so long. 

For an infinite moment, she was truly lost,  her organs clenching in agony and her soul, barely held together with tape and glue and magic, tore apart once more. Anna was here. She had been alive for almost five-hundred years, and yet this was the first time Eileen felt like she was coming home. 

But then she shook her head, screwed her eyes shut until she could accept that she was wrong. The young woman had stopped in front of her, brow knitted in concern, and her features were soft; genuine. Just like Anna’s had been. But she was younger, too young in fact, even if it were possible that Anna could be here with Eileen. They would appear the same age, share that immortality and not regress into younger shadows of themselves. 

“I think you have the wrong person.” She smiled, and it was reminiscent of the mirth always found on Anna’s lips. Eileen cleared her throat, closed off the part of her that had disappeared when Anna had once more. 

The sun shone too bright, making Eileen squint until all she could see was full pink lips and a curl of blonde hair, and she felt her heart shatter then because this is what she gave up. This is what she lost. Those lips pressed against hers, lips that had wanted as much as they were wanted. They had been bliss to Eileen, but their memory scorched her, rendering it utterly untouchable. Anna had left, because of duty. Because Eileen pushed her away. And Eileen had to live with that, with the fact that her greatest tragedy was herself.

“My mistake.” Eileen bowed her head, gritting her teeth as she moved away from the blonde woman gracefully. She was but a ghost of the beauty and elegance which Anna had held. But the similarities were enough, the connection clear, and Eileen felt them ripple through her. 

She loved Anna, loved her so much and so completely that it hurt, hurt to remember and hurt to close away, to ignore. But maybe she never had, not truly. Maybe Anna had always been there, as a whisper on the breeze or folded in the coy curls of closed rosebuds; a haunting, or a dream. Either way, the feelings were inescapable, and it was all Eileen could do to stand tall, as though she was indifferent, unaffected. As though her heart was not broken. 

The young girl nodded slowly, offering a confused smile before darting off after her friends. They were all full of energy and life and hope for the future. Eileen was too old to be envious, but  she still felt a pang in her chest, were she thought her heart was, or at least used to be. 

Clover was still busy, bustling, but Eileen shut out the noise and the chaos and did what she did best; she walked, away from the town and the girl, leaving memories of lost love and hearts which yearned to float aimlessly in the breeze behind her.


End file.
